When mothers talk about the depression of the empty nest, they're not mourning the passing of all those wet towels on the floor, or the music that numbs your teeth, or even the bottle of capless shampoo dribbling down the shower drain. They're upset because they've gone from supervisor of a child's life to a spectator. It's like being the vice president of the United States.
Erma Bombeck
Bye, bye birdie, bye bye. Just typing those words make me want to cry. I am now part of the Empty Nester club. If you have no idea what empty nest syndrome is, the short of it means your kids are grown and no longer live at home and you may be feeling some sadness, depression and down right have no clue what to do with yourself, or not. Every person is different....however.....
Yep, I'm there and let me tell you what, I am not liking it one little bit. Nope, not so much! I miss carting my son around, going here, going there. I miss him and his friends eating me out of house and home. Okay, I don't miss the teenage B.S. he put me through but that was part of him growing up.
I miss how we used to talk, we were hard pressed to be separated. My son used to worship the ground I walked on and now......he tells me he's 'too busy' and 'doesn't have the time'. I'll be honest, that kind of ticks me right off. I was never too busy or didn't have time for him.
He's moved out, 20 years old and I hardly ever hear from him. Yes, I know I need to let him 'find his way' I get that. I fight like madness to keep from calling him 1000 times a day. I want to hear his voice, I NEED to hear his voice. Oh man, I'm DOOMED. I have no freaking idea what to do.
What is even worse, my friends all have kids so now I don't even fall into their 'category' anymore. They are busy raising their families and um, I don't have any at home. Slowly we are drifting apart and the common ground isn't there anymore.
Empty Nest Syndrome can get very bad for some women. I'll be okay but I know many who are not. Women tend to be more susceptible to feeling the loss of their children no longer being home.
If you are experiencing this life transitional experience and find yourself feeling that your useful life has ended, or if you are crying a lot, or just so sad that you don't want to see friends, go to work or function in daily life then please speak with your doctor, seek professional help. The feeling of loss is very real and nothing to be ashamed of.
Tell me about your experiences with empty nest syndrome and how you deal or have dealt with it.
Hi Jamie, I can sooo relate to this post. I have three children, my oldest, a son, is 32 and lives nearby but I hardly ever see him and when he does call we can talk for hours. My next child is a son who just turned 25 and lives an hour away but is soon moving to Boston which means several more hours away! And the baby, my daughter is 19 and is going to college. She is never here but stops by in between her working three jobs and going to school year-round and I miss each and everyone of them in different ways. Even though mine live fairly close to me its a whole different world. I know they all have to have their own lives and are working hard towards their goals but its so hard to "let go". I am lost without them, missing being a mom 24/7. I do get teary-eyed over the simplest things or when I think oh how I wished I could tell one of them this or that...I spent years and years driving them here and there and they were all into sports so spent hours upon hours in the car and watching and supporting them in all their endeavors. But I would do it all over in a heartbeat if I could! We do have a dog and recently adopted another one so they are sort of "our kids" in a way. My husband is a stepdad to my three and has been in their lives for 9 years and I know he feels the empty nest as well...he was there for all of them all the time. We seem to have so much time on our hands but just cannot find something to do to fill it. With the fibro I cannot do alot of what I wish to do but am trying to find something that works, I am looking into volunteering for different organizations. I do "steward" or oversee a big land trust property next door to our home so that keeps me occupied some days. I wish I had an answer to your questions but I think I have the same feelings as you do. I wish you well!
ReplyDeleteCheryl, thank you. It certainly is a very strange feeling putting so much of your life into them and then POOF they are off with their own lives. We nurtured and helped them to grow into their own people and that is what they are doing. I know what you mean about the 'fur babies' my kitties especially Sassy you've heard me talk about is mine and Ricks "baby girl" lol..some of us just take a bit longer than others to let go. I know people who are happy as larks with their kids gone...lucky them hahaha. One day at a time. Wishing you well also!
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